Why can't I be elegant too?!

Ok, so I just read this fantastic excerpt my mom sent to me, by Fernanda Eberstadt (daughter of Isabel Eberstadt) named aptly enough "Am I turning into my mother?"

I, too struggled most of my pre-teens on into my early twenties to NOT be my mother, at all costs. People said we look alike, which we truly do not see and that we sound exactly the same on the telephone... and I would recoil in horror each and every time. I thought her too well dressed, too spontaneous, rather narcissistic and entirely too unreliable for my liking. She swore like a sailor, embarrassed the hell out of me and acted coy and proper at even the slightest hint of 'impropriety'. And she could be a real bitch. You know, all the reasons everyone who came within 100 feet of her thought made her so enthralling, and fantastic, and fun, and worldly. Oy vey.

And yes, I am many things my mother is and was, as well as nothing like her. I am not however an organizer (although I swear to you, as she has gotten older, she simply moves shit around until she is exhausted and ultimately, has not organized nearly as much as she thinks she has) nor am I an elegant dresser. My mother was like a Queen in my eyes, as a young girl... frothy ball gowns and beaded ones, too! St. John Knits to the extent that the salesladies all knew her by name, a tower of high heels and a 6 door mirrored closet to store it all in. I was in awe. I myself am a clothes horse however, I can guarantee that 97% of them are not suitable for a fancy meal in a good restaurant. My mother had frickin' cashmere 'leisure' sets, knit loose pants and adorable twin set or hoodie to match!! And yes, her fabulos-ity was directed at me, as well. Gray velvet and pink lace dresses, smocking galore, knee socks and patent leather Mary-Janes... Hell, I had a butter-yellow linen suit at age 10.

We also ate escargot, grenouille (aka frog's legs) hearts of romaine salads and yes, I even took caviar sandwiches to school for lunch... more than once. My own children refuse to eat peanut butter and jelly... not because they have been burdened with such exquisite culinary tastes but because it has too many ingredients... My mother hosted dinner parties, they went to other peoples dinner parties and on cruise ships where dressing for dinner was simply what you did (they of course sat at the Captain's table). Yeah, I'm not that girl...and not for lack of trying at different stages of my life. I guess it's the tattoo's, although I think in reality it just smacks too much of Mom.

I will never be elegant, but I appreciate my mother so much more now that I am a mother... because she just made it all look so damn simple and effortless and elegant that I had no idea how hard she must have had to work to make it look that way. And plenty of other reasons, too.